Postponing señora style

As a little girl, I could not wait to get older. I longed to be a classy lady like my mom and aunt Silvia. I admired beautiful women and hoped someday I would be one.

In my teens, I was clueless. Either because I did not have the financial means or a basic understanding of esthetics, I was sloppy. Worse, I knew it. I felt uncomfortable with my curves so I wore clothes as baggy as I could. I would look at girls like my Camacho cousins, always made up and well dressed, and envision the day that I too would be “put together nicely.”

Eventually, things started to come together. During undergrad, I was part of a sorority. I paid attention. From my sisters, I learned tips and tricks to apply makeup, style hair, and coordinate clothes. Law school gave me internal confidence and helped me find my voice.

At 24, I thought I had developed a style of my own. Unfortunately, I stumbled. Impractically high heels, extremely low cut shirts, too-tight dresses. The strong, sexy señorita I felt inside tried to interpret herself by focusing too much on my curves and not enough on the sex appeal of my mind.

As I got older, I found my esthetic. It continues to develop. And, aging is an important part of that development. I am comfortable with the fact that I am in my forties. I don’t lie about my age. I don’t wish to relive my youth. And, I do not see getting older as a problem. I have achieved the style that best fits my personality. Part Maria Felix. Part Mexican loteria’s “La Dama.”

It may be that lovely Latinas like Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek, and Sofia Vergara have created unrealistic expectations for us. Or it may be that they have redefined just how long women remain beautiful. Whatever the reason, I am inspired to keep looking lovely. I have no interest in letting myself go.

I exercise (every now and then.) I moisturize everyday. I try to analyze clothing styles and trends to find the things that look the best on me. I foresee me trying to postpone what I would term “Señora Style” as long as I can. To do this, I have created guidelines for myself. These guidelines help accentuate and highlight my beauty without trying to recapture my youth.

Focus on a Feature

When I was younger, I was the worst about trying to show everything off. My dresses were a little too snug, my shirts extremely low cut. I accentuated everything. This provided no focus and truth be told, bordered on boring.

Now, I try to find ways to highlight one special feature at a time. Shirts that show a little chest are now paired with a classic pair of pants or a below the knee skirt. Form fitting dresses now allow for breathability. In fact, I now use a famous Marilyn Monroe quote when it comes to purchasing dresses…

“Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman but loose enough to show you’re a lady.”

Practically Beautiful

There is nothing worse than aerating a sprawling lawn with four inch stilettos. Yet, this has been me on more than one occasion. I remember once going to a K-state football game with a friend. I wore high heeled boots. By the end of the first quarter, I realized the huge mistake I had made. The problem was that once I developed my twenty-year old girl style, I thought that I had to stick to my “look.” This attempt to “dress my part” came to a head when I met my husband.

“You’re not actually planning to wear those around Disney World?” My love asked incredulously.

“Why not? I wear heels all the time.”

Eventually, I realized that being elegant means knowing how to dress for every occasion. I learned that you can be pretty and well-dressed even when dressed casually. Most importantly, I learned that you are less of a caricature if your look fits the activities in which you are engaging. Now, I encourage you to learn these lessons.

Natural is Nice

When it comes to makeup, I have tried two different schools: all of it- false eyelashes, dark liquid liner, lots of mascara, bright lipstick, goopy lip gloss, bronzer and highlighter everywhere. Or, none at all.

Over time, I have developed the look that makes me most comfortable- real lashes, a few coats of mascara, a soft crayon eyeliner, and a natural lipstick. I have learned that this softer look makes me more timeless. As an added bonus, it keeps my skin looking younger. Finally, it saves me loads of time.

Whatever your position on makeup, remember this…

You are beautiful however you choose. to present yourself to the world. All you need is to think about what will work best for you and create the person that you want to be.

Confidence is Key

So, what more can be said?

Change your hair color and length. Put on the colored contacts or wear the nerdy girl glasses. Unleash your 13 Going on 30 fantasy and try on every piece of clothing you own. Pick out the things that make you feel good about yourself. Wrap yourself in love.

The most important thing that I have learned in my lifetime is this…

Whether you are wearing a ball gown or only perfume confidence is key.

Now it is your turn. Share your top tips or hot hints. Let me know what I could do to help me grow in beauty in confidence. I would love to hear your thoughts. And, I hope reading my thoughts helped you too.

In search of soft supple skin

“You have the softest skin…” He said, his thumb circling the top of my hand.

Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed with the way my skin feels. Perhaps it’s that my mother has always had beautiful skin. Perhaps it’s that I’ve succumbed to the endless marketing about what women should look and feel. Either way, I have spent a great deal of my adulthood on improving the quality of my skin.

During spring break in 2019, my family traveled to some locations in Latin America where I was able to secure pure 100% cocoa butter. I was very excited. I thought that I would be able to use it straight out of the bottle. Wrong.

Cocoa butter is very thick and hard. There is no way that it can be practically used without mixing with some other oil medium. I mixed one part cocoa butter with two parts coconut oil.

The homemade concoction has proven successful. My skin is soft. I use it on those special evenings when I take a bath. It has become a luxurious part of my special self-care routine.

2 parts coconut oil and 1 part cocoa butter makes for a very nice skin moisturizer.

Diluting People Power

Awww, fall. The crisp breeze reminds you to pull out your favorite sweaters. The somewhat functioning college football (I live in a Big Twelve community) tells us that people are trying to pretend all is normal. But things are not normal. Covid-19 continues to plague communities worldwide. In the US, the 2020 Presidential election took place and a winner was decided. Or was it?

Unlike past election, United Statians eagerly participated in early voting and Election Day voting. In many states we saw long lines of citizens waiting for hours to cast a ballot. The media touted this as demonstrative of passionate citizens making their voices heard. That’s plausible.

Another plausible explanation is that we were witnessing voter suppression in action. In 2013, the US Supreme Court voted to invalidate key aspects of the Voting Rights Act. This important legislation was created in 1964. Its goal was to ensure that all US citizens had access to voting. For all who may not know, this was a real problem in the post-civil war US.

AND, IT CONTINUES TO BE A PROBLEM NOW.

After the US Supreme Court announced its decision, many States went into suppression mode. Texas initiated new “voter identification laws.” These changes made less people (and yes, I am talking US citizens) eligible for voting. Other States began “redistricting” efforts. These actions diluted the power of voters in individual communities.

The sad thing is that the people who want to reduce the powers of people are now being blatant about it. Republican Kansas state senator Susan Wagle was caught on video plotting with right-wing cronies about her redistricting dreams. By redrawing maps, she endeavors to remove US House representative Sharice Davids (the lone Democrat representing Kansas) from her seat and replace her with a conservative. The Governor of Texas changed the rules about ballot boxes. He limited them to one per county. Why was that a problem? Because 41 counties in Texas are bigger than the State of Rhode Island!

These actions are wrong. They strike at the chord of what we tell the world that it means to be “American.” Overseas, we want to tout ourselves as a beacon of democracy. Stateside, elected conservatives have embraced an authoritarian regime. Overseas we want to encourage people to embrace democracy and capitalism. Stateside, federal and state governments suppress people of color, women, and young voters.

Worse than the suppression of US citizens? These actions undermine our country’s position on the world stage. These actions cause safety concerns for military men and women serving tours overseas. These actions weaken the credibility of our diplomats. They even make it harder for US citizens to travel freely outside of this country.

My hope is that 2020 will be a wake up call for all. My hope is that people will remain engaged after casting their vote. Voting for one Presidential candidate will not be enough to get our country back on track. I hope that once the election is over, people will begin the real work of democracy. The items on my agenda are as follows:

Increasing the number of political parties

I don’t have a lot of ideas about how this happens. But, I do wonder why in a country of 330 million people we only have two major political parties. This puts our country at a huge disadvantage. And, it puts the political parties in peril. Case in point, after I became a naturalized citizen, I was so excited to register as a Republican. I reasoned that thanks to a Republican (Reagan), my family and I had been the beneficiaries of amnesty. If you do not know, amnesty ensured millions of undocumented immigrants the opportunity to legalize their status in the US.

Unfortunately, the Republican party beliefs are not what I believed. I understood it to be a party of small government. Now I ask myself how that same party now pushes for government control over the bodies of 50% of its population, The party that I thought encouraged civic engagement now seeks to oppress its voters. And, I do not understand how the party of Lincoln has now become the party of white supremacists. That used to be the goal of the southern democrats. Don’t believe me? Remember that guy George Wallace, governor of Alabama who fought integration of schools? Yeah, he was a democrat.

Abolishing the electoral college

This is my most ambitious wish. The abolishment of the electoral college would require an amendment to the US constitution. But, this change would ensure that everyone’s vote counted in future Presidential elections. Currently, the vote of the people does not ensure a Presidential win. We learned this in 2001 with Bush v. Gore and were reminded of this lesson in 2016 with Clinton vs. Trump.

Putting term limits on federal representatives

This is crucial to ensure that our public servants (i.e. representatives and senators) do not cross the threshold from serving the public to becoming political conduits of lobbyists and corporations. It ensures that representatives do not get to stay in power without bringing any real results to their constituents. And, it ensures that new ideas and younger people can contribute to creating the society that they desire. After all, it is younger people who must live longer with the outcomes of policy decisions made at high levels of government.

Reducing dark money in politics

Of course, money is a problem in politics. In 2010, the US Supreme Court issued its opinion in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. This case reversed years of campaign finance restrictions. It put power in corporations and the ultra wealthy by enabling unlimited spending in elections. It further reduced the power of the federal election commission to promote and protect this country.

But it is not just the decision in Citizens United that has turned our elections into a shitshow. Media also plays a hand. CBS chairman was quoted in 2016 stating that although Donald Trump may not be good for America, he certainly is good for the ratings of TV networks, specifically his.

This is not all. In 2020, NBC chose to host a Trump town hall meeting at the same time as ABC was running a town hall meeting for Biden. ABC’s program was scheduled earlier and intended to be a Presidential debate. When Trump pulled out of the debate, NBC rewarded him with his own town hall meeting on three of their channels. Instead of giving the people of our country the opportunity to watch both and evaluate their choices, NBC chose to create a fight for ratings.

These types of actions must stop. Our country’s future requires all of our participation. It requires us to have rules in place that protect all of our people. Our country deserves more than what corporations, politicians and outside actors (like foreign governments) are trying to push us to become. It requires all of us to remember that WE THE PEOPLE must fight towards ensuring that we will all have opportunities for LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

What ideas do you have to improve our country’s political structure?

The feel of fideo and the comfort of food

Growing up in my household, the foods of my native Mexico were our daily staples. Unfortunately, my mother is not a recipe and measurements type of cook. This means, that when I ask for recipes I do not always get a straight answer. But, nothing gives me greater comfort than the foods of my mother. Comfort foods have a way of making us feel as though the world will be alright. For that reason, I have sought the foods that made me feel good in my youth.

Recently, I have been enjoying fideo with beans quite a bit. For the fideo pasta, I like to use the thinner fideo that La Estrella offers. The ingredients you will need are:

La Estrella Fideo

¼ cup of diced onion

2 cloves of garlic

1 can of tomato sauce (can also use two blended tomatoes)

1 can of chicken broth

1 Knorr Suiza boullion cube

I start by getting olive oil hot on a medium heat before adding the fideo noodles. I cook the noodles (one packet) until they are a light golden color. I add finely chopped onion and garlic cloves to the noodles. Once the onions are cooked, I add 1 can of chicken broth and a can of tomato sauce to the pan. For seasoning, you can try to make your own blend of salt, onion powder, etc. On the other hand, you can use one Knorr bullion cube. This is, for me, what gives it the taste that I remember from youth. I reduce the heat on the pan to low. Then, I make sure that I put a lid on the pan and allow it to simmer nicely.

Fideo simmers in chicken broth and tomato sauce.

I really enjoy adding whole pinto beans to a bowl along with a couple ladle fulls of this pasta. This meal is best used to fulfill my childhood nostalgia.