Exploring a place that our family has never visited;
(On road trips) introducing my husband and son to new audiobook; and,
Participating in some outdoor adventure.
What a grand new party it will be, once we stop thinking you versus me.
And start acting collectively, like a WE.
They call themselves the grand old party A.K.A. GOP.
Their goal: to fuck us over. Yeah, you and me.
They believe in rights if you’re a corporation.
Just not for the people all across this nation.
With them, Poverty is your only station.
They want no health care or public education.
Democrats you ain’t far behind.
For decades you supported racist minds.
You spewed hatred and told minorities “toe the line.”
What’s more? Greed overwhelmed your lives.
Politicians they all knew.
Their rhetoric spread and the anger grew.
The people? They just fell for it.
Didn’t see past the fucking bit.
Fought each other to be the fittest of fit.
At the table, angry cause an “other” took a seat.
Fighting for one damn scrap of meat.
Since we don’t work together, we get beat.
It’s time to act. Don’t be hasty.
Be a voter, large numbers means safety.
Take care of neighbors.
Stop with the race wars.
Don’t let yourself be politicians’ whores.
But oh, what a grand new party it will be,
Once we stop thinking you versus me.
And act collectively, like a WE.
“It ain’t the money or the diamond rings, honey I ain’t impressed with your material things” *
I spend a lot of time thinking about love. You see, in my spare time, I am writing a fictional romance set in my hometown of Manhattan, Kansas. In the last nine months, I have spent time writing, thinking, and researching ideas for this story. In that time, I have made several observations. The clearest of these observations? Many people believe that romance and love are demonstrated through showy displays of affection or gifts of material possession.
Americans we are a materialistic society. We marvel in the latest gadgets and newest toys. We liken success with an ever increasing ability to purchase. Thus, it makes sense that when it comes to romance we would do the same. We want a romantic partner to surprise and delight us with the best of everything.
So when we see these displays of attention they impact the way one considers even our own relationships. Right? As we scroll through people’s flashy proposals or other type of attention getting display of affection, a small part of us wonders why our other half doesn’t do the same for us. And that’s when the harm really happens. Little by little we begin to compare ours with another’s. And, when we do not have those same things happening for us, we decide there is something missing in the relationship in which we are involved.
That’s the worst thing that we can do. Comparison is the thief of joy. All of a sudden your spouse picking up dinner from a drive thru isn’t as special as that fabulous weekend getaway that your BFF got from her honey and posted photos about last week.
The worst part of this type of comparison is that it causes one to become completely self absorbed.
“Why doesn’t my honey do this for me?” We complain.
But here’s another question we should be asking, why don’t you do the thing you want for your honey? Why not make your person feel as special as you want to feel? More importantly, why does a display of affection require any type of material possession? Why does true love equal a weekend getaway or a shiny new bauble? I don’t know that it does.
I feel this type of pressure most around my birthday. People know that my husband is a person who is generous with his time and money. But, I normally encourage him to avoid extravagant displays of affection.
After all, how much someone spends on you is not a direct correlation to how much they care for you.
Does it matter to you how much your partner spends on you?
*Lyric taken from Paula Abdul’s ‘It’s just the way that you love me.”
Ayuda a tus hermanas.
Whether you say it in English or Spanish, supporting other women is important.
Over the course of the last year, I have had complex feelings about what it means to be a woman in this world. On the one hand, I feel comfortable identifying as woman. I always have. I have never minded the mandates and conventions placed upon my gender even though I may not have always abided by them. But over the last year, I have found the cultural backlash against women to be overwhelming. Depressing even.
For that reason, I plan to make 2021 my Women’s Appreciation Year. This means that I am going to take active steps to appreciate and support women. I endeavor to fully embrace this concept in a number of ways.
In the arts arena, I intend to focus my purchasing power on female artists, authors, actors, and musicians. Beyond that, I am going to take extra steps to introduce my friends and family to those that I love. As gifts, I will consider giving the gift a of book written by a woman. I will write a positive review about a blogger and share her through my social media. I will create a playlist with women’s music that moves me and share it to my colleagues.
There are many ways to support your sisters in business. First, contemplate all of the friends and family members you have that are in direct sales. Second, think of all of the things you purchase from your favorite big box retailer. Finally, think of the friends that you can purchase from instead of the retailer. Need skin care? Talk to your cousin who sells Rodan and Fields. Want to try a new mascara? Give your friend whose been a long-time Mary Kay consultant a call.
The key to purchasing from friends in this manner is to purchase ahead of your needs. You do not have the luxury of running out of a product when you purchase the direct sales method because it can take a few days for your purchases to come in.
From there, expand your horizons. Check out women owned businesses in your town. Don’t know how to find them? Call your local chamber of commerce or use your favorite search engine to discover women owned businesses.
I am talking attorneys, accountants, and doctors. If you have never done so, consider hiring a female professional. If finding a female professional seems onerous, stop sweating. Call your state’s accounting, bar, or medical association for a list of referrals. Ask your friends and family members about professionals they have used in the past. Finally, start looking at business websites after a search engine check of “Female Attorney” (or accountants or doctors) and the name of your city.
Now it’s your turn…
How do you plan to support women in 2021?
Meditating on the words of others is a wonderful way to learn and grow. Every first day of the month, I offer you some…
Words of Wisdom