Category: Wise Latina

Are You An Entrepreneur?

Posted on by Amada Acosta Addair in Money, The Future is Female, Wise Latina

There are people who believe that it would be luxurious to never have to work. They dream of spending days free of responsibilities.

Then there is a different type of person. They recognize that their key to happiness is not to be free from obligation. Instead, their happiness is derived from creation, nurturing, and growth. This is the person who wants to see a vision come to fruition.

This is the entrepreneur!

But beyond being the person who takes on the financial risks and legal responsibilities of starting and running a business, entrepreneurs are people who have a vision for a different future. But, bringing a vision to fruition can be taxing and time-consuming. It requires understanding several things about yourself and your business. If you want to become an entrepreneur, there are five things you need to consider.

Ideas Matter

An entrepreneur without ideas is not an entrepreneur. After all, before you can start a business, you must have an idea of the type of business you wish to have. If you are interested in being an entrepreneur but you are not clear on the type of business you want, use the following list to help you get started:

  • What am I good at? (To have a business, you must have a basis of understanding in the business, ergo, you must have some competence in the area of business.)
  • What do I enjoy doing? (It is not enough to be good at something, you have to enjoy doing it.)
  • How much time will I need to take this concept from idea to executable concept?
  • Who do I know in this field that can serve as a mentor? (Remember, questions are going to come up that you will need to ask someone.)

The idea you have does not have to be revolutionary. You can take a simple idea and turn it into a very successful business. But you have to start developing your idea.

Execution Matters

Entrepreneurship requires starting with a big concept and making it a reality. It means not stopping until you have achieved your desired outcome. Many people get overwhelmed by this. I know I did. At the end of 2020, my husband and I created a retail CBD and smoke shop. When we first got into the building we rented, I was overwhelmed. The space was previously leased by a head shop and the entire space was painted in black!

We renovated it using the colors white and lavender (Party Hat by Behr.) Have you ever tried to paint over black? It was not easy. It took significant time and money. We had no choice but to do the work, one paint stroke at a time. If we had failed at this critical point then we would have not gotten it off the ground. We would not have been able to open the doors on December 12th; so we hustled until the work was done and then celebrated with a grand opening party.

But, that was not the only challenge we encountered. From the moment we conceived the idea, it was a series of moments where execution was critical. Have the concept? Decide on a name for your business. Have a name? Secure the website. Have a website? Decide on marketing ideas.

It keeps going and going. The execution never stops.

Money Matters

A sad reality of entrepreneurship is that money does matter. The old adage that states that you “need money to make money” is an old adage for a reason. You will need to have some seed money to start the business you endeavor. Here are some places where money will need to be spent as you start your business:

  • Business formation (registering your business with your state, trademarking a logo, etc.);
  • Business marketing (purchasing a domain, doing your own website or hiring someone to do your website, preparing and creating signage, flyers, loyalty cards, etc.)
  • Business basics (leasing or buying a location, purchasing products, hiring employees, basic hardware, and point of sale software); and,
  • Business management (employee training, bookkeeping services, and general tax issues.)

There are a large number of places where you can spend money on your business. But, by determining what things you can and do enjoy doing, you may be able to save yourself some money.

Planning Matters

You will notice that in this article, planning comes after execution. But, this is the only time that it will. Planning is what helps you take your idea to full concept. Planning will help you ensure you have a roadmap for your idea’s success. It will help you create reasonable timelines and it will help you budget correctly. In fact, planning is the piece that ties all of the others together.

While it is true that not everyone is great at planning, there are some things that you can do to help you in the planning phase.

Time Matters

Of all of the things that you need as an entrepreneur, the most important is time. After all, you cannot start and grow a business unless you are willing to put time into your business. You must nurture your business every step of the way.

An important caveat, you should not be the only one working your business. For example, if your entrepreneurial concept is a restaurant, you cannot be chef, waiter, dishwasher, and front of house all at once.

If you try to be the jack of all trades, you will end up being the master of none. But, if you select one piece of the business that you can do exceptionally well and hire others to do the other things, you can success. For that reason, I recommend that you devote your time to the things that you a)enjoy and are good at, and b) will help you level up your business. The other things should be delegated.

What words of advice do you have for entrepreneurs?

Master of My Multiverse

Posted on by Amada Acosta Addair in American Me, Mama, Wise Latina

As a POC child growing up in America, I straddled two universes.

On one hand, I was a part of the America where being on the cheerleading squad, listening to pop, rock, or rap, and watching the latest episode of 90210 were important. On the other, I was a part of an America where being invited to be a dama in a quinceañera, listening to Banda Machos, and watching Muchachitas were equally important.

I think this is often the case for people who immigrate to this country, though I do believe that it can be a part of the lives of people whose family stretches in America for generations. The home life links you to your family’s past and culture while the professional or school life tethers you to mainstream (Anglo) America. When I was younger, this felt like a lot of work, straddling two cultures.

As a POC adult, I find myself with both feet squarely planted in white America and further away from the Latino-landia that surrounded me when I was younger. I pondered for a long time why that was. Here’s what I realized. As a young person, I was inculcated in the Latino world of my parents. My parents attended and sponsored weddings, baby showers, and quinceañeras. I participated in these activities because my parents did not hire babysitters to care for my brothers and I at home while they went out. No. We attended all of those activities. Everyone in our community did the same, it was standard. Result, I was around Spanish, food, friends, and familia.

Now, I live in a largely caucasian world. In my hometown, Latinos make up less than 5% of the population. The majority of my friends are non-Latinos and I have no extended family to lean on for Mexican-style fun. Spanish is spoken for business purposes or to converse with my family members by phone or social media. And, the only other Latina I interact with on a regular (daily) basis is my legal assistant. This means that my mom is not around daily to share the stories of our family, no friend to turn up the music when a good Banda song comes on, and no older aunt to remind me to prepare a family altar for Dia del Muerto. And I can forget about having a posada, who would I even invite?

This question stayed with me for a long while…

How do we, the Americanized children of immigrants, continue to connect to our cultures when we no longer live within our immigrant communities?

 I realized that the effort had to come from me. It was my responsibility to create opportunities for myself to connect to my culture. Here’s a list of the things that I started to do to help me reconnect:

Find organizations that can help you connect with your culture. Join a business or social organizations (check out MANA or your local Hispanic Chamber of Commerce) or participate in a faith-based communities (in my town, a local Catholic Church holds mass in Spanish every Sunday).

Get lost in the world of entertainment. Read books by POC authors. Find a movie or show on your favorite streaming services (bonus points if you watch it in your native language.) Play music from the artists your parents liked (this will give you a strong wave of nostalgia.)

Force yourself to cook recipes from your culture correctly. The yummy results will transport you to your past and give you a sense of appreciation for the love and work your parents put into meals.

Make it a point to visit your OG community for fun activities and events. When the covid-19 pandemic ends, my goal is to return to Garden City, KS for the 16th of September celebrations that occur annually.

Bring your culture into your own world. For example, if you are in a book club, select a book written by a POC author this way, you share your culture with your non-POC friends.

Finally, learn your native language or teach it to your children. According to a mentor I once had, older generations hesitated to teach their children the native languages because diversity was frowned upon before. My mentor recalled being punished in schools for speaking Spanish, even in a lunchroom setting. However, the tides have turned. Your kid will not be smacked with a ruler on the knuckles for speaking Spanish. Teaching yourself or your children the native language will provide a link to their past or enable them to communicate with family still in the old country. More importantly, in our increasingly multicultural country and ever-shrinking world, knowing more than one language is an asset.

What are the things you do to connect with your culture?

Breaking bad (habits)

Posted on by Amada Acosta Addair in Mama, Uncategorized, Wise Latina

I have been a life-long nail biter. I do not know how this habit started or why it began. But, I can remember being as young as six years old and biting my nails.

Since corona commenced, the thought of putting my fingers in my mouth creates a whole new level of anxiety. It is unfortunate that it has taken me this long to acknowledge the overall ickiness of this habit; but, I guess it’s never too late to make a positive change. This change in perspective means that I am finally enjoying pretty nail polishes and lovely hands.

Now, there are many opinions on how to break bad habits. I found several good articles while I prepared this essay that I recommend for anyone who needs proven tools. (Harvard Business Review article and Time Magazine article.) But, I cannot say that I broke my nail biting habit with much forethought.

I started getting nervous about my nail biting. At some point, I realized that the new medical reality added an extra layer of danger and disgust to my habit. Of course, this is an anxiety driven habit where it helps to keep your hands busy. So, one of the things I did during lockdown was to start painting my nails. This led to less incidents of my hands in my mouth.

I still have a ways to go before I can say that I am completely cured of my bad habit. But, I do feel that I have new tools with which I can quell this behavior.

Have you ever had to change behavior? What behavior or habit did you try to change? What worked? What didn’t?

Postponing señora style

Posted on by Amada Acosta Addair in Mama, Wise Latina

As a little girl, I could not wait to get older. I longed to be a classy lady like my mom and aunt Silvia. I admired beautiful women and hoped someday I would be one.

In my teens, I was clueless. Either because I did not have the financial means or a basic understanding of esthetics, I was sloppy. Worse, I knew it. I felt uncomfortable with my curves so I wore clothes as baggy as I could. I would look at girls like my Camacho cousins, always made up and well dressed, and envision the day that I too would be “put together nicely.”

Eventually, things started to come together. During undergrad, I was part of a sorority. I paid attention. From my sisters, I learned tips and tricks to apply makeup, style hair, and coordinate clothes. Law school gave me internal confidence and helped me find my voice.

At 24, I thought I had developed a style of my own. Unfortunately, I stumbled. Impractically high heels, extremely low cut shirts, too-tight dresses. The strong, sexy señorita I felt inside tried to interpret herself by focusing too much on my curves and not enough on the sex appeal of my mind.

As I got older, I found my esthetic. It continues to develop. And, aging is an important part of that development. I am comfortable with the fact that I am in my forties. I don’t lie about my age. I don’t wish to relive my youth. And, I do not see getting older as a problem. I have achieved the style that best fits my personality. Part Maria Felix. Part Mexican loteria’s “La Dama.”

It may be that lovely Latinas like Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek, and Sofia Vergara have created unrealistic expectations for us. Or it may be that they have redefined just how long women remain beautiful. Whatever the reason, I am inspired to keep looking lovely. I have no interest in letting myself go.

I exercise (every now and then.) I moisturize everyday. I try to analyze clothing styles and trends to find the things that look the best on me. I foresee me trying to postpone what I would term “Señora Style” as long as I can. To do this, I have created guidelines for myself. These guidelines help accentuate and highlight my beauty without trying to recapture my youth.

Focus on a Feature

When I was younger, I was the worst about trying to show everything off. My dresses were a little too snug, my shirts extremely low cut. I accentuated everything. This provided no focus and truth be told, bordered on boring.

Now, I try to find ways to highlight one special feature at a time. Shirts that show a little chest are now paired with a classic pair of pants or a below the knee skirt. Form fitting dresses now allow for breathability. In fact, I now use a famous Marilyn Monroe quote when it comes to purchasing dresses…

“Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman but loose enough to show you’re a lady.”

Practically Beautiful

There is nothing worse than aerating a sprawling lawn with four inch stilettos. Yet, this has been me on more than one occasion. I remember once going to a K-state football game with a friend. I wore high heeled boots. By the end of the first quarter, I realized the huge mistake I had made. The problem was that once I developed my twenty-year old girl style, I thought that I had to stick to my “look.” This attempt to “dress my part” came to a head when I met my husband.

“You’re not actually planning to wear those around Disney World?” My love asked incredulously.

“Why not? I wear heels all the time.”

Eventually, I realized that being elegant means knowing how to dress for every occasion. I learned that you can be pretty and well-dressed even when dressed casually. Most importantly, I learned that you are less of a caricature if your look fits the activities in which you are engaging. Now, I encourage you to learn these lessons.

Natural is Nice

When it comes to makeup, I have tried two different schools: all of it- false eyelashes, dark liquid liner, lots of mascara, bright lipstick, goopy lip gloss, bronzer and highlighter everywhere. Or, none at all.

Over time, I have developed the look that makes me most comfortable- real lashes, a few coats of mascara, a soft crayon eyeliner, and a natural lipstick. I have learned that this softer look makes me more timeless. As an added bonus, it keeps my skin looking younger. Finally, it saves me loads of time.

Whatever your position on makeup, remember this…

You are beautiful however you choose. to present yourself to the world. All you need is to think about what will work best for you and create the person that you want to be.

Confidence is Key

So, what more can be said?

Change your hair color and length. Put on the colored contacts or wear the nerdy girl glasses. Unleash your 13 Going on 30 fantasy and try on every piece of clothing you own. Pick out the things that make you feel good about yourself. Wrap yourself in love.

The most important thing that I have learned in my lifetime is this…

Whether you are wearing a ball gown or only perfume confidence is key.

Now it is your turn. Share your top tips or hot hints. Let me know what I could do to help me grow in beauty in confidence. I would love to hear your thoughts. And, I hope reading my thoughts helped you too.

The Way We Were

Posted on by Amada Acosta Addair in Men, Wise Latina

When I was younger I thought so highly of myself. I thought I was the smartest fucking person in the world. I had perfect breasts and a fabulous ass. I thought I was going to be President of the World.

Now…

Well, I still think well of myself. I know I’m smart, but I don’t know everything. Okay, I know that I know very little. I still have great breasts and a decent ass. I think, maybe, I could be on city council.

As I get older, I realize that I have become a sexy Verbal Kint. I get up to start walking. My joints are stiff. I try to put one foot in front of the other. My foot turns in and a slight limp can be detected.

Toda Hodida.*

After a few steps, I begin to get my groove back. I start to switch my hips from side to side. I begin to glide. My bad-ass Kaiser Soze emerges.

Bam. Bam.

Some dangerous curves right there.

The thing is, I don’t feel that I should be getting older. I still look in the mirror and see the girl I have always seen. The girl I love. And I wonder if my husband can still see that girl too.

I worry that it may be getting harder for him to see me as I was. I worry that he will only see me as I am becoming. An older woman. I wonder if he worries about whether I see him as an aging man.

The bad news is that a successful marriage means that you will be with one person as you deteriorate and wither; in other words, age. But, the good news is that as you grow older, you may find different things that make the relationship sexier and richer. Earthier even.

But the one thing that can never change is you and your partner’s willingness to communicate. Because as long as you are both in agreement to how your relationship will be defined. You can maintain your love. By doing that you can continue to be the way you were.

*For the non-Spanish speaker, “toda hodida” is equivalent to “all fucked up.”